I am not ashamed to say that I have quite the experience in unrequited love. No, I’m not embarrassed in the slightest to confess that love has not been returned in the same direction of intensity to which I feel and have expressed on numerous occasions. I am however, a little upset that they (yes, they) haven’t tried to let me down a little more gently and as such, I’m going to scream and shout and let it all out.
Let me introduce these unrequited lovers …
Dark Chocolate. Well he is just nasty, making me feel all fat and depressed.
Movie Thrillers. Bit of a sadist this one, he gives me nightmares.
Swimming Pool. Just taunts me with my phobia. I have to fight the fear of being swallowed by an octopus emerging from the pool light or drain (only if I’m in the pool by myself that is). Yes I am serious. Absolutely 100%. No, I’m not kidding. It’s an actual fear.
Danceable Music. He serenades me and makes me feel young again only for a sharp reminder that I have grown ‘unko’ I believe was the term he used.
i Phone – I love him to bits, I take him with me everywhere I go, I’m always listening and ready for when he calls, usually answer in a timely fashion, listen intently, appreciate all his wonderful applications and then without any warning (or obvious warning anyway) he just decides to go black, blank and lifeless. Apparently he needs ‘Re Charging’.
My faithful love, my cupids love, the one that won’t fatten me, scare me, taunt my already fragile imagination, deceive me about my age or leave me for ‘Re Charging’ (whoever that is), is Char Coal.
Please meet Mr Char Coal
If you will excuse me, I’m going on my date with Char Coal now. I’ll keep you posted with any developments.