I’m Angry at my Knickers

I’m angry at my knickers
Yes, quite angry at my knickers
They’re up then down then all around
I’m angry at my knickers

This morning was the worst
There was an awful burst
Of blue seen through my shorts
From my knickers came the worst

Then at breakfast as I ate
I felt a pinch but it’s too late
Time to leave, I can’t change now
My knickers really sealed my fate

Now at school, I’m here to learn
Instead I learn to twist and turn
The teacher saw my squinting face
My cheeks begin to really burn

Not my face were burning cheeks
But the different kind, the bigger cheeks
From twisting hard to stop that pinch
Now too my face has burning cheeks

I think it’s out or won’t be long
That my knickers are now, just a thong
They really aren’t but just right now
That’s where they’ll stay, but don’t belong

While there’s no one that’s close by
I try to fix this through my fly
Stuck right now, must try later
My knickers, these knickers are very sly

This can’t be happening, this isn’t real
Now my pants begin to peel
So much twisting, so much turning
I must remember do not kneel

I feel the chair, oh there’s a patch
And another, at least they’ll match
Two holes appear, no colour blue
Just the bare, I’m such a catch

Almost home but not yet over
When some kids with a dog called Rover
Walk by my house, just as I tumble
Bum in the air, Rover keels over

Inside the door I race to my room
My knickers are off and not a moment too soon
I least I didn’t fart at the Principal today
Oh I did? I feel my head begin to swoon!

By charcoalblue

No, it’s not a true story thank goodness.


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