The Talented Texter

Rowena's father

Rowena’s father

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, just sometimes, technology does not make us look so good. I’m not talking about the camera phones but rather the ability to communicate in a clear and concise manner. Already I have to decode the abbreviations used rampantly on email, texting and twitter (not that I use twitter) and I still haven’t figured out how to insert a smiley face or sad face or anything of the like so you can only imagine my confused state of mind upon receiving a text message from my sister (some of you know her from Row’s Pottery Shed) that was in theory trying to tell me something but in reality, appeared to be either a cryptic puzzle or her phone happened to fall into the hands of a 6 month old baby. See for yourself …..

Hey. Your home link is missingbob yoyr blog.

Not so bad, there is enough to decipher the content and perhaps her intent. This was followed with Rowena’s attempt to correct herself as she so rightly and admirably discovered her own communication errors … so here goes …

Sorry. When you seleft a post on yoyr blig the home link does nit display.

Even so, still not too bad … until she tries to explain herself – like this is going to help …

My fingers ibvio u sky to bug to text.

Thanks Row, this helps immensely. Lets keep going shall we ….

Remind me to s high iw yoy rext I accudebtly sent my mabaget.

Well by this stage I think I had fallen of my couch trying to catch a breath from laughing so hard. What on earth???? I was completely lost. Was she saying “Remind me to high 5 you next, I accidently sent my magnet” or “Remind me to say hi to you next, I accrue debt, sent my agent”.

Don’t ask me, I still don’t know. Anyway, when I asked her if she were familiar with the delete button on her keypad she replies with ….

Too tired. Couldn’t be biyhered.

That sounds like beheaded which is rather close to bothered don’t you think? No, I didn’t think so.

So Rowena figures out that I am making fun of her and being such a good sport that she is, continues not being ‘biyhered’ …

Gobon make fun if your sister going blibd with fingerrs that are too fat.

Thanks Row, I will ….

Considering she doesn’t have fat fingers at all, I thought there must have been another reason for these absurd words popping up on my screen. Obviously she wasn’t using any form of spelling correction tool, that much was clear and no-one can spell that badly. Then I remembered Rowena’s way of using her phone is to hold it as far away as possible, in fact, the longer her arms can stretch the better.  Lucky she wears glasses right? So I asked her if this were the case …. and she responds quite honestly …. in a Russian accent …

No. Fingers to big fir letters and cant see orperly.
H a ve to voncenteate
Go fig u re

As if on purpose, just to show off her versatile communicative talents, Row switches from her Russian spy accent to what sounds vaguely yet still definably like a primary school teacher.

Thanks for the top
Tip not top

Who knew you could be funny, absurd, sensible and nonsensical, all at once Row?

Now that’s talent, if ever I saw one.


6 thoughts on “The Talented Texter

  1. the piece that you haven’t worked out yet is that I was trying to say…remind me to tell you about a text that I accidently sent to my manager, however I thought I was texting my husband. Cause I’ve been away from home a lot lately for my day job I wanted to send a naughty text to hubby, so I created it (can’t give you the details here) and then accidently sent the text to my manager. I will have to show you when we catch up next. You won’t believe it. Suffice to say I’m not the world’s best texter. This Samsung Galaxy S4 is great for photo’s but aint any good for texting, especially if you are a little blind, have fat fingers and don’t know how to handle these super sensitive touch screens…driving me mad…but at least we got a few laughs out of it. What drives me mad is that this new phone has a large screen, but that still doesn’t help.

    1. Hilarious, yet not surprising. There is one thing in your favour though Rowena, your manager was unlikely to have understood your text message considering your texting style.

  2. Really great post! I had to laugh out loud several times reading this. I know this sooo well! Just one reason I preferred those ancient cell phones with buttons … 😉

    1. Really glad you liked it. Oh, those ancient phones, I had forgotten all about those things. Might make that suggestion to my sister ..

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